Tag Archives: love

10 Observations from the Love Experiment

5 May

For seven days last week I experimented with saying “I love you” mentally to everyone I met. Here are my observations:

  1. It’s easier to love everyone when everyone you meet is worth loving. Wasn’t challenged with truly nasty people.
  2. It’s easier to love everyone when old nemesis stay in the past where they belong.
  3. To love everyone requires the love sender to be wide awake, truly alive and aware.
  4. It’s easier to mentally love strangers or mere acquaintances. Family and friends come with complicated feelings where love is just part of the stew.
  5. Sending loving thoughts can be exhausting.
  6. Sometimes being nice is enough.
  7. Sending out loving thoughts seems to boomerang. There were times when I was receiving warmth and acceptance before I had sent my loving thoughts.
  8. Loving thoughts lead to loving actions. Love leads to caring, even if it’s only a compliment sincerely given.
  9. Loving everyone leads to mellowness and lower blood pressure.
  10. Loving everyone all the time may not be possible because many of us live too much in the future, thinking about our to-do lists. But being nice is doable, even to nasty people, most of the time.

The Love Experiment: Day Seven/Just Being Nice

2 May

I realized today would be an office day with people I already know. So, my goal would be to make it a little nicer for each one of them. The idea would be to make each person smile and to recognize their sincere efforts. If I couldn’t find an effort worth recognizing, I would fall back on the smile exchange.

It worked.

The folks at the office are working on a multimillion dollar project with an almost impossible deadline. Stress is as common as coffee. But to their credit, most keep cool most of the time — which makes being nice easy.

I started out admiring the receptionist’s jewelry, but she beat me to it and admired my shoes. High-fived one guy for no particular reason — and he started it. My partner expressed gratitude for work I’d done before I could thank him for his.

It was one pleasantry after another all day. And we made progress on our project. Then, when traffic came to a standstill on the way home, I was mellow. Think I’ll try to make a habit of nice.

STRESS LESS

STRESS LESS (Photo credit: BetterWorks)

The Love Experiment: Day Five/Too Far?

30 Apr

I took the love experiment online today, when I tried to send love to all those who emailed me. I knew I went too far when I replied to a car dealer who had sent me many, many emails. Instead of ignoring her (yes, it was a she and a very young she, according to her photo), I decided to reply. It would be the loving thing to do, right? She was young and insistent. So I asked her nicely not to ever contact me again.

So, I didn’t ignore her or delete her. I acknowledged her humanity with a request to leave me alone.

In the online world, that counts as a loving gesture. I think.

The Love Experiment: Day Four/Reciprocated

29 Apr

We ran into each other in the office kitchen first thing this morning. Her making oatmeal in the microwave and me filling a cup with ice water. We both were starting our third week on a project as part timers. We worked on separate teams, however, and our paths hadn’t crossed since that first day.

She gave me a big smile, direct eye contact, remembered my name. Before I could mentally love her, she was already sending me acceptance and support. We compared what we had learned, and I realized her team was learning things my team needed to know.

As we parted, I tried to remember her name. Fortunately, they keep a staff roster online complete with photos — even part timers. Let’s just call her D.

Much later that afternoon, we ran into each other in the restroom and laughed at the idea we were on the same schedule. We talked for many minutes out in the hallway. I learned she was about the age of my daughter and had a 4 year old. She wanted the part time job to become a full time job, with benefits.

She told me I needed to become the next director, that I looked 15 years younger than my actual age, and that I had style. I wanted to hug her.

I felt mentally loved.

The Love Experiment: Day One

26 Apr
Is it love worthy?

Is it love worthy?

Day One of the experiment to love everyone started out rocky. The lady in the Camry just sat there, when she had plenty of opportunity to turn right on red. Behind her, I waved and pleaded. Suddenly she took off and I was right behind her.

Then I remembered that I loved her. Felt ashamed of thinking of her in those terms of backward, low IQ, cell phone addled chickie. Sorry.

When I got to work, everyone I met I mentally told them I loved them. I’ve been at this job only two weeks, so I don’t know how these people act over the long term. Over the short term, they’re hard working and friendly. Today, as I mentally loved them, they were extra friendly and smiling.

Of course, it was Friday. That alone can make most of us feel better.

At Costco, when I sent a love vibe to the Direct TV salesman, he smiled and didn’t try to sell me. A lady offered to let me break in line in front of her because I only had a few items — and I hadn’t mentally loved her yet. I wonder if I’m sending off love vibes in a wake that catches anyone close by.

Today was a pleasant day. Worked hard, but no people problems. Maybe all they need is love. Will try loving all again tomorrow and report back. Is anyone else trying this experiment with me?