Tag Archives: Loneliness

Singles: Go Where Everyone Knows Your Name

21 May

Cheers (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Twenty years ago this week, Sam turned off the lights at “Cheers,” ending that sitcom’s 10-year run. The best thing about it was the opening song… You go where everyone knows your name, and they’re always glad you came…

We all should have a Cheers in our life. A neighborhood bar would be great. And if you’ve got one, congratulations.

In my neighborhood, coffee shops are the hangouts. The regulars arrive and their skinny lattes immediately are ready because the barista saw them coming before they entered the door. Everyone sits around looking into their laptops in quiet companionship. Every now and then conversation will break out.

I’ve always had to work in an office during the coffee shops’ most caffeinated time of the morning. And in the evenings I prefer wine. So I’ve had to search for my personal Cheers. I’ve made connections at

  • the local wellness center, particular zumba classes
  • church; they act like they like me and they like to eat

The point is to find someplace where the feeling is mutual. I’m crazy about the flea market and I get a kick out of antique malls. But they don’t care if I come or not. We all need a place to go where they like you and you like them. You’re missed if you stay away too long. Us singles especially need a Cheers place.

Where do you go where everyone knows your name?

Living Alone and Loneliness — Not the Same Thing!

12 May

Last week the local newspaper had a front page story about how living alone leads to shorter life spans. The article led with the story of two individuals, both in their 80s. One walked his dog several times a day and lived alone in a small apartment. His daughter visited almost every day. But his wife had died the year before and he was obviously still grieving. Of course, he felt lonely.

The other example was a woman in declining health who had outlived most of her friends and family. She had become immobile after an active life. She said she was ready to join her friends who had gone on.

You see the problem here, of course. The reporter had confused living alone with loneliness. Though the studies on which the article was based made it clear that loneliness led to a shorter life, too many people like this reporter jumped to the conclusion that living alone equaled loneliness.

Feeling lonely is as common as breathing among the human race. The problem leading to a shorter life span comes with unrelenting loneliness. Living alone can be freedom at its best if its a choice. If it’s forced upon an individual, however, it makes loneliness worse.

In the next few days, I’d like to explore how to solve the problem of loneliness — until it happens again, of course. ¬†Topics include:

  • Taking control by making choices
  • You got to go to where everyone knows your name
  • Making a real connection

And finally, if you’re feeling lonely, check the calendar. If you’re still feeling lonely in a couple of weeks, you’re probably depressed and need the help of a mental health professional. Get help!

But if you experience occasional bouts of loneliness like most of the human race, check back here. We will find some answers.